Five Nightmares
by Herascat
Summary: Five times that nightmares shifted the paradigm. Rated for implied child abuse and rape. SwanQueen


Just anidea I had before the season premere aired. I don't own Once Upon a Time.

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**The first time it happened was an accident**.

The combination of nearly draining her magic and giving Greg and Tamara a chase had completely depleted Regina's energy. So the usual exception she made to Henry's no magic rule, a spell for dreamless sleep, was forgotten. In the time between magic sleeping pills had sufficed. Something to put her too deep to dream but still allow her to wake up if Henry needed her. The return of magic had been a relief in that aspect.

Emma woke not knowing what in the deep darkness had disturbed her slumber. The sound of waves lapping against the hull of the ship had put her to sleep so that couldn't be it. A keening noise rose from the woman in the next bunk. She heard the dark haired woman start to thrash at the covers over her in her sleep before a whispered "No" made its way across the small room.

"Regina," Emma called to the woman softly, "Regina, wake up." Emma turned her head to watch the shadow of the queen.

The noise only seemed to escalate. Her whimpers tuning into choked sobs and the whispered "No's" turning into louder "Pleases".

Emma shoved her covers off and sat up, if she didn't quiet the queen down she was liable to wake everyone on the ship.

The rough wood planks were cold under her feet as she shuffled to the shapeless form in front of her. The closer position made it clear that the covers were now shoved to Regina's feet, yet she still thrashed against an unknown assailant. When Emma laid a hand on her shoulder she stilled. The scant starlight that entered through a porthole nearby glinted off a lone tear trekking its way down Regina's cheek. "Don't" the word was said softly but Emma could hear the pleading note that drown out every other noise of the creaking ship.

"Regina," Emma tried once more to bring the brunette into the waking world. Another tear dripped into dark locks. Emma shook Regina's shoulder and her hand slipped away as the older woman sat bolt upright.

The dark eyes were wide and uncomprehending as she took in her surroundings. Finally they landed on the blonde. "Emma?" The question in her voice was obvious.

"You were having a nightmare and..."

"What did I say?" Regina interrupted without waiting for the rest of the blonde's explanation. As long as she wasn't in her mother's cellar or her late husband's bedchamber she could manage. She unconsciously fingered the burns at her scalp. Scratch that, now there was another place she never wanted to be again.

"Not much," Emma hedged. When she saw the look in the dark woman's eyes, she backtracked. "You said 'no' and 'don't' but it was your moving around that woke me up. Are you okay?"

Regina closed her eyes briefly. Damn. "I apologize for waking you." She ignored the hurt look that flashed across Emma's face. "Go back to bed Miss Swan. I won't wake you again." Because she wasn't going back to sleep. She lay back down and rolled to face the bulkhead.

Emma sighed. She hadn't expected to ever feel sorry for the Evil Queen.

**The second time it happened was all Emma's fault**.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Regina's concentration faltered and her gathering magic dissipated. "Well nothing now." She had thought there would be more time before the blonde returned from eating dinner.

Emma sat down across from her and glared. "You promised Henry you were going to stop using magic and I walk in to see you doing exactly that."

Regina ignored the blonde and started casting her spell again.

"Stop!" The whiny voice broke her concentration yet again. "You don't need magic."

The older woman rolled her eyes. "You know nothing Miss Swan. The spell isn't harming anybody and I do need it." She didn't bother trying to explain why.

"Do you want me to tell Henry that you've been lying about stopping?"

Dark eyes flashed in anger. "Do not use my son's emotions as leverage to make me stop something that helps me. Don't you dare presume that I don't know what's best for myself and Henry."

Green eyes widened in realization. "You've been using magic the whole time."

"One spell! One damned spell. It's the only reason that I haven't woken you up since that first night." Didn't the damn girl realize that she was trying to be courteous? If protecting herself was a fringe benefit, so be it.

"That's why you always leave dinner early." Emma slumped in disappointment.

"Yes I didn't want you to know that I was casting every night because I knew that this is what would happen." Regina felt defensive even though Emma seemed less inclined to argue now.

She lay down on the bed, pulling the coarse blanket up over her bare legs and glancing over at the blonde. Regina watched her strip down to panties and a tank top, it was really too hot for anything more. When Emma glanced at her and Regina felt embarrassment heat her features. She felt naked even with the t shirt and panties she wore. She pulled the blanket up higher. It made her itch so when Emma plopped down and rolled onto her stomach Regina started inching it back down.

She contemplated casting the spell but after a moment decided that it wasn't worth another argument. The blanket was bunched at her feet by the time her eyes slid closed.

"No, Leo." Regina's yell woke Emma from a dead slumber.

The blonde sat straight up in bed, barely glancing at the figure curled up in a ball before her feet hit the floor. "Regina, wake up." Emma placed her had on the dark woman's shoulder. Emma went rigid as a magical shock coursed up her arm.

"Regina!" She hissed.

Eyelashes fluttered open and the pain stopped. A moment passed before either woman spoke, "I want you to know that this is your own fault." The dark haired woman's voice was husky with sleep.

"You…!" Emma watched Regina roll over to her other side and curl up with her back facing the blonde. The shattered look on the brunette's face registered and Emma stalled her words. "You're right. I won't argue with you again."

Regina shrugged, listening as Emma padded back to her own bunk. She listened as Emma's breathing evened out and she started shifting in her sleep. Regina spent the rest of the night watching the stars and waiting for dawn. She uncurled herself as the sky turned pink. The shock should have killed the other woman, after all in her dream she had been killing her late husband.

She refused to think about those times before her powers had been a force to be reckoned with. The times where she'd been too weak to stop her husband from using her. The sky lightened even more as she lay there waiting for the blonde to wake.

**The third time it happened Emma never woke her**.

The fight for Henry had been more intense than anybody had anticipated. The shadow and it's children had put a magical front up that the Savior and the Evil Queen together had a hard time breaking. But they had broken through. While Snow and Charming had used physical weapons to break and hold the line. Henry's imp of a grandfather had been the one to venture into enemy territory to rescue and bring back the little boy.

Regina and Emma held the line as their family escaped to the Jolly Roger. The plan had been to magic back to the ship, but Regina's magical reserve had been depleted. So they ran into the woods half-heartedly pursued by a handful of Pan's minions.

Emma managed to pull Regina into the hollow of a felled tree to lose the children.

"I can't get us back magically." Regina whispered as the sounds of feet faded.

"I don't think I have any juice left either. Can we get word to Gold so that they don't come back looking for us?"

"Find me water and I can."

They lay inside the log catching their breath as they waited for the sound of returning footsteps. The sound came shortly accompanied by muttered curses and stomping before once again fading. Emma glanced at the older woman, noting how pale she'd become. "Regina, are you okay?"

Dark eyes opened, "I'm fine Miss Swan, merely exhausted." She propped herself up and wriggled out of the log at an agonizingly slow pace. She led them to a small stream where she used the dregs of her power to conjure an image of the Dark One.

"Rumple, is Henry alright?" Regina searched the background of the watery image for a glimpse of her son.

"He's fine dearie, just a bit hungry. Why aren't you two back yet?"

"The shadow and his defense were stronger than anticipated. We'll walk as far towards the coast as possible tonight and teleport the last bit in the morning."

Emma slumped against a tree trunk at the water's edge as Regina spoke with Gold. She was talking about walking for hours because there was still plenty of daylight left. The older woman was nuts. Not that she didn't want to get back to Henry, but killing themselves wasn't going to help matters.

Emma came out of her reverie to Regina looking at her a puzzled expression on her face. "What's wrong? Are you injured?"

The blonde sighed, "No, just tired. I'm not sure how far we're going to be able to walk."

Regina fought the urge to roll her eyes, "Didn't you get used to walking on your little jaunt to the Enchanted Forest?"

Emma winced at the sarcasm, "That was months ago and I hadn't just fought a magical battle with a fucking shadow."

The brunette blew out a breath trying to reign in her frustration. "I'm tired too, Miss Swan, but we have very little choice in the matter. If we stay here we run the risk of being captured and I know you want to see Henry just as much as I do. He's already lost his father don't make him lose his mothers too."

Regina smirked as Emma pushed off the tree and started walking along the stream's edge. It was so easy to rile her into action. She followed the blonde at a safe distance. She could already feel her boots digging in to the flesh over her achilles tendon but she pushed herself to keep pace with the irate woman in front of her.

They walked for hours, rarely talking. When they both started tripping over non-existent obstacles Regina halted them. "It's almost dark, let's find somewhere to spend the night."

They both crumpled into exhausted heaps when Emma finally found them a clearing. For a moment Regina contemplated reaching down to remove her boots, but when she realized that would only make putting them back on in the morning impossible, her hands fell to her side. "I don't think it's a good idea to start a fire."

Emma nodded, though she was covered in gooseflesh and felt a shiver work its way up her spine.

Regina only debated depleting her magic more to conjure blankets for a moment before she saw her companion shiver. They were an ugly brown and more scratchy than the ones they'd had on the Jolly Roger, but as Regina tossed one to Emma she received a grateful smile.

They both curled up in balls. Emma blinked slowly at the back of Regina's head until her eyes wouldn't stay open any longer.

She woke for a third time to Regina's nightmares.

"Mother, please." Regina's thrashing had thrown her blanket to the side. "Please let me inside, it's so cold." Her teeth chattered and she shivered.

Emma propped herself up and tried to stand and groaned in pain as she realized that she wasn't getting to her feet. She squirmed the short distance separating them and curled around the older woman. The blonde couldn't muster the strength to do more that pull the blanket over both of their bodies. When her arm settled over Regina's stomach once more she noticed the dark haired woman had stilled, her body absorbing the warmth.

Regina murmured softly for a moment, the words unintelligible before heaving a large sigh and quieting. Emma smiled and let her eyes drift closed again.

**The fourth time it happened was because of a miscalculation, or so Regina said.**

From the moment that the Jolly Roger had docked back in Storybrook Regina had felt ill at ease. She should be relieved to be free of the cramped quarters and suspicious stares, but she missed a certain pair of green eyes meeting hers right before sleep, even if that blonde's body was wrapped in the arms of Rumplestiltskin's son. The only consolation was that she had Henry back. Having him sleep in her arms was almost as wonderful as waking up in Emma's.

Regina came out of her reverie to the darkness of her study. The streetlights glinted temptingly off the crystal decanter sitting on her sideboard. The floor chilled her bare feet as she gave into temptation and made her way to the scotch. Maybe alcohol would work as a substitute for her magical nightmare relief, because her sleeping pills were gone. The glass was filled and drained twice before she could reconsider.

The third was sipped consideringly because the dark haired woman's belly was already on fire and her throat stung. For a moment she considered the circumstances that had led to double bunking in the already small cabin. Mulan, Aurora and Phillip had joined Neil on the journey home. The home they had known for so long was inhospitable and plagued by death. She truly hoped that they would take to Storybrook well. After all it was her fault that they were unable to stay in the Enchanted Forest. The remaining scotch slid down her throat.

She couldn't feel her toes after standing on the freezing floor for so long, but her cheeks and chest felt warm, flush with alcohol. She wiggled the frozen appendages as she poured another glass of amber liquid. This time she actually made her was to the chair in front of her desk. She plopped down, not bothering to lower herself as her mother taught her a lady should. She pushed thoughts of her mother out of her head and focused on Henry.

She was so glad to have him at home, glad that if she wanted to she could get up right now, walk to his room and see him sleeping in his bed instead of being teased by a lingering scent. It seemed the trip to Neverland and the following trip to the Enchanted Forest had proved to the Charming's that Regina could be trusted.

Emma had let her take her son home. For that Regina would be forever grateful to the Savior, even if the only reason was so the blonde could spend more time with her reacquired love. Magic crackled at Regina's fingertips, reminding her why this was a bad topic to get caught on. She reigned her power in watching the purple mist reenter her skin. She put her lips to the glass and found it empty.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd consumed this much alcohol. With the hopeful thought of dreamless sleep firmly planted in her mind she put her glass on the desk and stumbled her way up the stairs. With unusual carelessness she shed her clothes to the floor and crawled between her silk sheet in naught but a camisole and panties.

Emma fumbled for the ringing cell phone while still trying to keep her head buried in the pillow. "'Lo," She mumbled and sat up when Henry's frightened voice greeted her.

"She won't wake up and she keep on moving around and staying stuff. Emma, help me."

"I'm on my way right now, Henry. Give me five minutes and meet me at the front door." She was already pulling on pants and a sweatshirt. The blonde made it to Regina's house in record time and was greeted by her pale wide eyed son.

"She said your name." Henry looked at the ground, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"It's okay Henry, she's just having a nightmare."

"Then why can't I wake her up?" His tone suggested he'd tried more than shaking his adoptive mother.

"Henry, it's not a curse, you can't wake her up with a kiss." They walked up the stairs together, Emma keeping her pace slower than she wanted so Henry could keep up.

"What if it is and I don't love her enough?"

Emma stopped at the top landing to face her son. "Your mom knows that you love her and if it were a curse you would have been able to wake her up. It's just a bad dream so I need you to go back to bed and I'll wake your mom up."

Henry nodded but when Emma closed the door behind her he sat at it listening.

"No Emma, please," No wonder the woman had woken Henry, she was nearly shouting. "Please don't leave me."

"Regina," Emma made sure to keep the frustration out of her voice.

"No, don't leave!" Regina's face was contorted in fear.

"Regina, I'm not leaving."

Full lips pulled into a frown.

"Regina you need to wake up." Emma tentatively put a hand on Regina shoulder, wary after the shock she'd gotten while waking the brunette before.

"I love you, you can't leave me."

Emma's hand pulled away as if shocked. Was the older woman still dreaming about her or had she moved on to Daniel?

"No, Emma!" A tear slipped down Regina's temple as she whispered the words.

Emma stared at the woman in shock. She knew that the two of them had gotten closer but this declaration blindsided her.

"No, please! I'll die." She was getting loud again but Emma couldn't move.

Neil had wanted to start where they'd left off all those years ago but something had held Emma back. The dreams of holding Regina in her arms had intensified since they'd been back in Storybrook. She missed how every night dark eyes had ushered her into sleep. The image of Regina holding Henry as they both drifted off to sleep had ingrained itself on her brain shaping her dreams into familial fantasies.

"Emma, Henry, don't go!" The shout brought Emma's eyes back to the woman on the bed.

"Mom!" Henry was beside her the next second, tears streaking down his cheeks as he shook Regina's shoulder. He turned to Emma, "You promised to wake her up!"

Emma finally found the motivation to move. She brushed the stray tear off of olive skin and cupped a soft cheek. "Regina, Henry and I aren't going anywhere." She sat down on the edge of the bed and continued stroking the brunette's cheek. "We aren't leaving but you need to wake up. Henry needs you to wake up."

She watched as dark lids fluttered open. "You're here?" Full lips turned up in a hopeful smile.

"You were having a nightmare again. Are you okay?" Emma's hand stilled.

"Mom?" Henry moved around to look at his adoptive mother. "Do you really love Emma?"

Regina's face blanched and her eyes widened, "What?"

"Henry, let your mom…"

"But she said…"

Regina closed her eyes and moved to sit up. "Henry, it's late and you need to get back to bed." She could still feel the alcohol dulling her senses. As she stood she refused to show any weakness by covering her barely clad body. Henry took his brunette mother's hand and allowed her to lead him back to bed. As she pulled the covers up to his chin he spoke again.

"Do you love Emma? And remember you promised not to lie."

The liquid courage was waning but wasn't gone. "Yes. I'm in love with Miss Swan." She kissed his forehead and smiled as his brow furrowed in irritation. "Go to sleep, Henry."

When she turned Emma was standing in the doorway watching her. She slipped past the blonde woman and made her way back to bed. She was followed to the bedroom.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Emma still looked shell-shocked.

Regina's answer was a whisper, "I didn't realize until just now."

"Why didn't you cast your no dream spell?" Emma wasn't close enough to smell the scotch on her breath.

"I thought with enough alcohol I wouldn't need it." She shrugged.

Emma yawned.

"Come to bed, apparently if you hold me the nightmares don't come." Considering her own words Regina amended, "Unless Henry's call pulled you away from somebody else." She refused to use the man's name.

Regina pretended to close her eyes and watched through slit eyes as sweatshirt and pants were shed. The breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding was released when the bed shifted and a warm body pressed flush against her back.

"Go back to sleep Regina."

"Goodnight Emma." She felt lips brush her neck right under her ear.

"Goodnight."

**The fifth time it happened Regina admitted it was her fault.**

At first she thought it was the chill that woke her up. The body that usually wrapped around hers was gone, along with most the covers. She turned to glare at her blonde lover's twisted countenance before the noise registered.

"Gina," The heartbreaking plea was followed by a whimper, "Please don't leave me."

Regina froze at Emma's words, her brow furrowing into a confused frown. When a tear streaked down a pale cheek she snapped out of her reverie. "Emma?" Regina pulled the covers off of the blonde and snuggled close to her. "Wake up, dear." She pressed a kiss to the salty trail.

After what seemed like an eternity the blonde's lids opened to reveal green eyes. "Gina?" Emma's hand traced the contours of Regina's face.

"I'm right here darling. I'm not going anywhere." She wove her fingers between pale digits and pressed a kiss to the blonde's knuckles. "Tell me what's wrong, Emma." Her voice was soft but the tone pleaded with her lover not to avoid it.

"I don't want to talk about it." The blonde replied, rolling onto her side so she could still feel the older woman but didn't have to look into her lover's sad eyes.

"Emma, we've been sleeping in the same bed almost every night for three years and this is the first time that you've ever woken me up because of a nightmare." Her fingers combed through blonde waves. "We need to talk about why you think I would ever leave you."

"I…You've been…distant these last few weeks." Emma whispered obviously on the verge of more tears. "I don't know what I did wrong."

Regina's hand stilled, "I haven't been…have I?" She sat back and looked down at the woman she loved. "I swear that I didn't mean to be, I've just been busy."

Emma finally rolled to face her. "I feel like you've been avoiding me."

"No darling," She thought about the time she'd been spending away from her love. "I was planning on surprising you." She crawled to her bedside table.

Emma watched as she reached into the drawer and pulled out a clenched fist. Green eyes locked on brown as Regina move back to straddle her lover.

"From the moment you saved me in the mines I couldn't help but start falling in love with you. I know that I haven't always been good at showing how much, but I want you to know that I want you to be with me forever." Her fingers uncurled to reveal the most beautiful ring Emma had ever seen, a round diamond flanked on each side by two emeralds.

"I never thought that I would want to be married again, not after the last time. But with you everything is different and I want to be yours and have you be mine for forever." She held Emma's hand in hers and slid the ring onto her finger. "So, Emma Swan, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Tears overflowed the green eyes and the blonde nodded. Her hands cupped olive cheeks and pulled the brunette in for a kiss.

Regina's eyes slipped shut and she pressed herself closer to her fiancé. "I love you so much, Emma."

"I love you to, Gina." Regina kissed the tears that had spilled from Emma's eyes. Emma pulled her lips back to hers, tasting the salty sweetness of Regina's mouth.


End file.
